Today went the Andrew's group. I was sitting on the one side of the sofa. Two years ago, one evening on this very place, I made the commitment to the Lord, from that moment, my life and myself have been changed.

At the end of meeting, Lynette told everyone about my leaving. Some people are new to me and only spent several months with me, some have been knowing me for one year, and for some it has been two years we support and care each other. When Lynette was speaking, she almost cried and nearly couldn't finish. Then everyone came around me and prayed for me.

When I finally left the house, I gave Lynette and big hug, tears running out of my eyes, I couldn't say anything, just waved goodbye to everyone.

I don't know how I'm going to cope with it, hehe. Tomorrow, in Jen's place, I would be expecting some embarrassed moment that speaking with tears and weird voice. On Friday it's Chinese Fellowship, Zhengzhong told me today there would be a surprise. Sunday in the Church, Tom would play three of my favourate songs in the worship. And the final Tuesday with Carolyn and Oliver...

It's really hard to experience every last 'something'. But Sarah insists that this is not the end, she would come back with me. Carolyn said the same thing. I would believe that now, because God won't just gave all these things to me for a while and says that's it, that's the end. He won't just let me have a taste and take away forever. There must be something. Dear Sarah, thank you for the hope and faith.

P.S. My dear babe, I'm really sorry for today, and for the everything I've done wrong and every pain I've brought you. One thing we learn today is that we have no excuse to judge other people. Because our judgement is not basing on the truth, but basing on our own favour. That's exactly what I have done today. I said you are wrong only because I felt hurt and I don't like that, not actually meaning that you are really wrong. I have no right to judge you, only God does. I'm sorry for the wrath and unkindness. I'm sorry I've sinned. I sincerely prayed to God for the forgiveness from God and from you, for the comfort from God to you, and for the strength He gives me to repent. I might sin again and again, but please believe that God will change me eventually, I would love you more, and in a better way.