Today went the Andrew's group. I was sitting on the one side of the sofa. Two years ago, one evening on this very place, I made the commitment to the Lord, from that moment, my life and myself have been changed.

At the end of meeting, Lynette told everyone about my leaving. Some people are new to me and only spent several months with me, some have been knowing me for one year, and for some it has been two years we support and care each other. When Lynette was speaking, she almost cried and nearly couldn't finish. Then everyone came around me and prayed for me.

When I finally left the house, I gave Lynette and big hug, tears running out of my eyes, I couldn't say anything, just waved goodbye to everyone.

I don't know how I'm going to cope with it, hehe. Tomorrow, in Jen's place, I would be expecting some embarrassed moment that speaking with tears and weird voice. On Friday it's Chinese Fellowship, Zhengzhong told me today there would be a surprise. Sunday in the Church, Tom would play three of my favourate songs in the worship. And the final Tuesday with Carolyn and Oliver...

It's really hard to experience every last 'something'. But Sarah insists that this is not the end, she would come back with me. Carolyn said the same thing. I would believe that now, because God won't just gave all these things to me for a while and says that's it, that's the end. He won't just let me have a taste and take away forever. There must be something. Dear Sarah, thank you for the hope and faith.

P.S. My dear babe, I'm really sorry for today, and for the everything I've done wrong and every pain I've brought you. One thing we learn today is that we have no excuse to judge other people. Because our judgement is not basing on the truth, but basing on our own favour. That's exactly what I have done today. I said you are wrong only because I felt hurt and I don't like that, not actually meaning that you are really wrong. I have no right to judge you, only God does. I'm sorry for the wrath and unkindness. I'm sorry I've sinned. I sincerely prayed to God for the forgiveness from God and from you, for the comfort from God to you, and for the strength He gives me to repent. I might sin again and again, but please believe that God will change me eventually, I would love you more, and in a better way.

My dear friends, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ

Thank you all so much for this evening. It was really a huge surprise. It was the whole cell there, what better dinner I would expect? It's a perfect ending, with the friends who have been closely supporting, caring and loving me in the past two years, in a Chinese restaurant (which probably is the best in Coventry), representing the lovely character of our relationship and our cell, a wonderful mixing nationality and culture character, which is the reason why we call ourselves, the International Cell. I love this cell, this is my cell, and this is my church.

I don't know what I can say to you guys. I think a enormously big THANK YOU is the only thing I can say to you for the past two years, for every piece of unforgettable memory.

Thank everyone of you, for the lovely gifts. You guys have been my blessing in these two years, and will still be in the future, through all your lovely gifts, your precious friendship and all your prayer for me. Guys, I've been always wanting to buy one of the worship song books, but they are too expensive for me, especially at this moment, I haven't been working for quite a while and I almost spent all my money on buying gifts for my parents and gf, and the flight ticket, and my new mobile (have to confess...). After all these, I nearly have nothing left. Today I went to Wesley Owen, I knew their songbooks are upstairs, I looked at the stairs, but then turned away (you can imagine how sad that picture was... haha), cause I know I don't have money to buy them, and probably won't have space in luggage anyway. But in the evening I got this amazing gift from you guys, the digital songbook, dear me, you guys are really faithful servants of the Lord, passed this gift to me, which I believe it's from the Lord God Almighty. And, the reason why I went to Wesley Owen was I wanted to buy one Philip Yancey's book, cause I saw the smaller size version in the church which is much cheaper than the old version. But they don't have there. But, guess what... Susie I would say you've done a favour for the Lord as well, passed the books he wanted to give me. I've bought one Where is God when it hurts? and one Disappointment with God, both in small size, and one original size of What is so amazing about grace (which doesn't have smaller size), on the Amazon using your gift certificate when I came back at home. I can't wait to read these books together with my girlfriend, to share the love, grace and mercy from the Lord. And Chernise, thank you so much for your book, it's a bit heavy though, but I would surely bring it with me back, I promise, haha.

I'm sorry I couldn't say any thing more in the restaurant when you guys gave gift to me. It was hard enough for me to keep my eyes dry, so I didn't speak that much. But you would know that your love and friendship would be treasured by my heart, and be pleasing the might God.

May the Lord bless you all so much.

With all my respect and love

Your forever cell member

Ben